Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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