I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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