The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
