What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
