how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
How's work?
Spinning.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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