it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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