I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
