We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
