sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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