Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
