Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
