i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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