Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
