there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
foreskin is a definite game changer
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
