thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
