His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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