PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
