If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
