there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
