oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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