So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
