i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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