I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
