I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Damn victory sex feels great
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
