If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
