is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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