You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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