i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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