no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
