Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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