I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
it's like heaven, but drunker
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Sorry about my life...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
