After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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