id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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