apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
