Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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