That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
