couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
