no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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