I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
