how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
