I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We are all done wearing pants today
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
