I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
