I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
