You can't special order awesome
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
