I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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