I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
