it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
