singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
