i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
