She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
is that a dick in a sweater?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
